This guy

I know my blog is mostly about autism and so mainly J but this wee guy deserves a mention too. My wee B (sometimes in more ways than one 😜) Sometimes he’s my sanity and other times he drives me insane! He’s only four years old and already in his young life he’s had to come to terms with and understand more than some people will ever have to. He’s an autism sibling. If you read any articles, information or research they will tell you that this is hard. We try our best to limit this for him and to make his life as ‘normal’ as possible but he’s always going to be affected by it in some way. J is after all his big brother. Sometimes if I think about it too deeply it makes me really sad for B. As great as J is and as hard as he tries, he’s never really going to be what most people think of as a big brother. He doesn’t really know how to look after B or show him how to do new things. Of course, B is very capable and would probably just tell J that he knew how to do it anyway. This doesn’t mean he’s not missing out though. He’s never known any different and hasn’t seen what he’s missing, which is good I suppose, but I know and sometimes it hurts. Continue reading


Garden fun in the sun

We live in Scotland so there can be times when we go days (sometimes weeks) without seeing any hint of sunshine☀️ The school holidays here start at the end of June and to be honest, I think it would be better if they started a couple of weeks later. It always seems to rain here for at least the first week in July! Yesterday it was slightly cloudy but at least it stayed dry and warm, meaning the kids could get back outside to play and burn of some of their endless energy! There’s little worse than a very active five year old with ASD and cabin fever.

Today the sun is out in full force and as soon as they got up, before they even got dressed, my boys headed off out into the garden. We are lucky to have a good-sized garden with lots of room for all of their toys and for them to run or roam around in. Parks and beaches become so crowded during the holidays when the weather is nice and it can be a bit overwhelming for J at times. Continue reading

Airport Awareness

As it’s holiday time many people will be jetting off to sunnier skies and new destinations. We have not yet been brave enough to venture onto a plane with J. There are just too many unknown variables. How will he react to waiting around in the airport? Will the small space in the seat in the plane be too restricting? Will the noises the plane makes be distressing for him? Will he have trouble with his ears? How will we keep him amused for the duration of the flight? I don’t think he would be allowed to run up and down the aisles for several hours and he certainly wouldn’t be allowed to open the door to go for a wee stroll. Maybe this is something we will consider when he’s a bit older and can perhaps be reasoned with in some manner.

For now Continue reading

Living Arrows 18th July #1

My favourite picture from this week comes from a visit to see Gran for her birthday. Making the most of a break in the rain, my boys had her running around the garden chasing them. It doesn’t matter to them that she only had a knee replacement operation a couple of months ago. 

My boys love being outdoors and J especially would even be out there in the rain. Poor Gran will need a few weeks to recover from this visit! 

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When is it ok to lie?

Is it ever ok to tell lies to your child?

My answer to this would be that it very much depends on the child, the situation and the lie being told. When I’m talking to J I don’t really ever need to lie or make things up, most things need to be factual and instructional. B on the other hand, he’s a whole different entity. He asks so many questions, digs deep into the minutiae of things and relentlessly asks why to every explanation of an explanation of a reason. At times I try to explain and keep explaining. Other times I say ‘because it is’ or ‘because they do’ which I know is not an answer, but he drives me to it eventually and my patience just runs out. Anyone who knows B will understand where I’m coming from. Once you’ve heard why for the tenth time when explaining the same thing, you feel like tearing off your own ears and throwing them out of the window of the moving car!

Here are a few of the lies I have told to try to subvert the inevitable twenty questions or ongoing whining to get his way: Continue reading

Bath time 

It’s bath time in our house and J is flapping around the bathroom happily, splashing in and out of the water as he waits for the bath to fill. He then decides he needs his ‘yarks’ or sharks to you and I. I would send him to get them but he has no nappy on and I don’t fancy cleaning up the trail of pee that might be left in his wake!

Having searched the house from to to bottom for said ‘yarks’ I could not find them anywhere. I looked in every room. I tried asking J where they are but he just kept saying ‘yarks’. I asked B but he had no idea. ‘Think like J’ I tell myself and guess what- I found them 👏 (there doesn’t appear to be a hooray emoticon!) Guess where they were??!! Go on. That’s right, they were inside the ‘garbage truck’ as J calls it! Of course they were! 🙄

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