I know my blog is mostly about autism and so mainly J but this wee guy deserves a mention too. My wee B (sometimes in more ways than one 😜) Sometimes he’s my sanity and other times he drives me insane! He’s only four years old and already in his young life he’s had to come to terms with and understand more than some people will ever have to. He’s an autism sibling. If you read any articles, information or research they will tell you that this is hard. We try our best to limit this for him and to make his life as ‘normal’ as possible but he’s always going to be affected by it in some way. J is after all his big brother. Sometimes if I think about it too deeply it makes me really sad for B. As great as J is and as hard as he tries, he’s never really going to be what most people think of as a big brother. He doesn’t really know how to look after B or show him how to do new things. Of course, B is very capable and would probably just tell J that he knew how to do it anyway. This doesn’t mean he’s not missing out though. He’s never known any different and hasn’t seen what he’s missing, which is good I suppose, but I know and sometimes it hurts.
They love to play together (when they are not fighting) and have lots of fun. I suppose most siblings of their age are similar in that way. The thing is, it’s mainly on J’s terms, when J wants to. Occasionally he will join in when B asks but usually he would rather watch a video on his iPad, play with his trains or swirl some water. When he does play it’s mainly running around or rough & tumble play and not the imaginative, interactive play B now likes.
In many ways I suppose B is the big brother. He shows J how to do things and helps him with things he finds hard. He also helps me out, running to fetch new clothes or nappies when J has gotten in a mess in the garden or soaked himself playing with the water. This allows me to keep J in one place and save him rampaging through the rest of the house leaving debris or puddles in his wake. He’s also now an actual big brother to W and has loved it from the minute she arrived. He was so excited for her coming and has enjoyed his role since the day he met her. She often laughs and giggles at his funny faces and noises and he tells her stories or sings her songs when she’s crying. He’s a great big brother and she’s lucky he loves her so much.
B takes all of his responsibilities so seriously and is always looking after his brother and sister. He has his wee hang ups and my husband likes to call him Mr Health & Safety or Mr Terms & Conditions. We can definitely say he is a stickler for the rules and likes things to be done properly. If you’re not doing something the right way, he’s quick to let you know. This can be a good thing but it also sometimes means he’s a bit scared to do things and he overthinks things a lot of the time. He seems to have big worries for someone so small and at times I wish he was a little more carefree and less bothered by things. It would be nice for him to have more confidence and be a little less self-conscious and anxious.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t have fun. He still has a mischievous side and he loves to wind people up. He likes to go on adventures and see new places. Oh and boy does he like a selfie! His favourite places are the park and Summerlee museum and he loves to be outdoors. When he’s not outside, he loves to do craft activities or imaginative play and we are always drinking pretend tea and eating the lovely food he has prepared for us in his kitchen that Santa brought. Now and again he tries to involve J, who sometimes very briefly plays along before getting fed up and moving on. I hope this will change and as W gets older he will have a new friend to join him in his exploits. He’s my amazing wee boy and he loves life, even if he does have his wee peculiar thoughts and feelings about it along the way.